Breakthrough......

Just a quick post before I got to sleep. Day five of the fast has gone well, I've broken my personal best and I'm down to 195lbs. I've got lectures all day tomorrow until 6 so avoiding food should be easy. I haven't eaten anything today which is good but I feel like I want to throw up every 5 seconds. No headaches or dizziness yet but the nausea is pretty bad. I feel like If I throw up I'll feel better but there's nothing in my stomach so it'd be pretty pointless. I don't know do empty stomachs make you feel nauseous? Maybe I'm not drinking enough? I wish I could just not eat but still feel normal. I'm going to say something I've said before - It sucks we need food to survive!!!! Oh well I guess thats the price you pay for being thin.

Hello....... xD

One month. That's how long its been since I posted. It feels like so much longer. I can't tell you how much I've missed posting here and reading all your blogs. It took me ages to get the internet set up which is why I haven't posted in a while, but I have it in my room now so no more trekking all the way down to the computer pools.

So I've been at uni for a month and its been pretty mixed. My course is awesome as are my flatmates. I live with seven other people, 4 girls and 3 boys. All the girls are skinny which is just typical. One of them is super skinny but she never stops eating. I don't know how she does it. She eats so much crap but she never puts on a pound. I feel like I should hate her but I cant because she's really nice.

I just wish my eating habits were going as well. The first two nights I was here (a weekend) I got hammered both nights and ended up eating tons of crap. Then for the next week I fasted most days and on the days I did eat all I ate was a couple bowls of branflakes. I dropped 14 pounds that first week and I was down to 195lbs.

14 pounds in one week 'she must have dropped tons more by now' I hear you say. I wish. For the next three weeks all I did was get drunk all the time and binge. It was like I got caught up in the newness of uni, of the new places and the new people and I just completely forgot about fasting and ana and all the things I had promised myself.

Saturday morning was the first time I weighed myself in ages. I was back up to 205. I felt like shit, I couldn't believe I had let myself put on 10lbs. 10 fucking lbs!!! It gave me the wake up call I needed and I didn't eat anything on saturday, sunday or monday. I weighed myself this morning and I'm back down to 196.6lbs.

I haven't eaten anything today and hopefully I wont eat anything tomorrow which means I would have broken my personal best of 4 and a half days (Tomorrow will be my fifth day of fasting) So far I've been feeling pretty good no headaches or dizziness just a little bit of nausea. I just really hope I can keep this up. I feel so much better and in control when my stomach is empty. People always say they can't deal with hunger and feeling sick and empty, but I love that feeling. It makes me feel in control.