Day one...again

Today's been a good day, food wise at least. I've managed to avoid all food, only having water and three cups of tea (No sugar.) Hopefully I'll be able to keep this up for another 13 days!

Yesterday I went down town and while I was there I got some passport photos taken that I needed for uni. I cant believe how bad they looked. Seriously. When I'm looking in the mirror at home, I can kind of convince myself I don't look as bad as I do. But when I saw myself in those photos, which is the exact way other people see me everyday, I realised just how bad I really look. I almost had a complete meltdown right there in the photo booth.'This can't really be me can it?' But it can and it was.

Instead of freaking out and getting depressed about it though, which I was very much inclined to do, I decided to use it as motivation and sort of a reminder of what I didn't want to be anymore. So when I got home I dug out an old notebook and stuck the picture on the first page. In big red letters I wrote down my weight and a string of unflattering words to describe myself. Then in the rest of the pages I stuck thinspo photos I'd cut out of magazines and wrote down quotes to keep me on track.

Now every time I get the urge to eat, I'm going to look at that notebook and remind myself of what I'm trying to achieve and just hope it's enough to put me off eating.

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